| Beardsly | |
|---|---|
 Beardsly is known to fit a vast amount of shoes on his head for transport. | |
| Vital statistics | |
| Title | Mythical Creature |
| Gender | MALE AS A REALLY MALE THING |
| Race | Unknown |
| Faction | United Federation of the F40PH |
| Health | 9001/9000 |
| Level | 20220682306284368 |
| Status | Unknown |
| Location | Amerifagistan |
get off my page you nig-nogs
wait how the fuck do i do a strikethroug? i wanna put a line through all of my text
wait how do i make this entire shit awesome?
WELL I'LL SHOW YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.
CHOCO TOUCHED THE FUCKING PAGE.
Beardsly is a marvellous creature also known to various cultures as a Unicorn. His power levels are somewhere around 9000, but just below, with your contributions he may be able to fuel his power levels causing Cumbeans to cry over there scouter readings and run for the hills. The genetic make-up of Beardsly's existence is something of a mystery, many speculations have led to believe that he is composed entirely of hot gas and arsenic, though this is entirely not the case. Crack science teams, like those also working on his origins (see below), have been snorting coke 24/7 within confined spaces to determine his genetic structure.
The Genetic Structure Dilemma & Meaning[]
Beardsly was discovered at least 100 years ago in a cave on the Forest Moon of Endor. After using telepathy to help Admiral Ackbar determine whether it was indeed a trap or not, he used his man powers to fly through the atmosphere and into space, here he lay dormant in slumber until last Thursday, when a team of scientists discovered the recent appearance of some kid who was throwing horses off of school buildings. It was here that Beardsly was found and taken in. Deciding that direct parentage would be strained like hell to care for the little cocksucker, it was decided that a council of elders be set to work on Beardsly's growing up, and so it was first decided that it was a bad idea to send him to any school, seeing as he began to devour the teachers of the classes due to not being fed enough PURE FUCKING ENERGY.
The genetic structure dilemma is a long standing string of documents mostly created with intentions of discovering how exactly Beardsly is a cellular life form. He is blue and wobbly when scared and when aroused stiffens right back up, a peach colour with various purple vein-shaped objects running throughout the vertical axis. The common misconception of a structure of hot gas and arsenic is something of a fabrication, now it is believed that he in fact made of an ironic mix of the elements Americium and Germanium. Beardsly then found TnB and became the local badass MET pride upholder.
The Champagne Incident of '94[]
In 1994, it was reported by an old stoned lady that a kid matching Beardsly's description was fucking up people's shit all over the place. When asked he screamed "WHERE'S MY WIFE?!" before demanding some Santana Champagne. To the liquor store he went, discovering they were all out of the champagne, he decided to let the world know of his dilemma. And so he made these dudes make a song about it. thumb|308px|left|The song best describing the dilemma.
Growing Up and Discovering TnB[]
When Beardsly turned 14, it was his birthright to be accepted into the ranks of TnB, so what happened was they took him to the sekkrit hawl of teh cumooniteie, and everyone got drunk and fucked a load of chicks. After that, he was in. There was much rejoicing, and the beheading of several species of endangered squid, but afterwards, all was good. He was given his computer, where he began his trials as a fucked up prodigal son of the interbutts, and so it was proven he was the chosen one when he used so many h4x on a beta version of the Sims 3 that all of the characters in game ate nipples from bowls for breakfast. Many people at Maxis found the beta test results to be suicidal worthy, and so they became an heroes. Leaving Beardsly to rise up through the ranks of the angry world, even attending angry camp once and becoming camp overlord within a day of being there, immediately after creating the position for himself.
He became some guy in BASTION, led some shit somewhere. And someone... did something? I dunno, it's all a big vague, isn't it?
Brief, Yet Successful, Literary Period[]
Unbeknownst to many, Beardsly has created various works of literary genius, often concerning real-life issues and hard-hitting dilemmas within the world at the time of publishing, he has earned to notoriety and fame of many, many adoring fans. Some of his most recognised works include:
- Diarrhoea; Why it feels so good
- The Magic Behind Harry Potter
- Identifying Wood
- How to Successfully Create an F40PH from Thin Air
- Angry Laundromats and You
- The Angry Pony
- The back of a Dairy Milk Buttons packet
- I'm Really a Filthy Pig
- Cat With a Mallet?
- Choco Touches me Sometimes
- Successful Socialist Rallying and You
- Paper Isn't Fun
Among various other works he has been cited for, as well as the songwriting of many artists such as King Henry VIII and George Michael.
Origins[]
Many people are unaware of where Beardsly originated from. The closest hint we have to his origin is the following video. If you turn the volume up and listen carefully, you can hear encrypted messages in an unknown language. Our crack science team is currently snorting as much cocaine as possible to discover what the messages mean. thumb|425px|left|Be sure to turn the volume up and listen closely if you wish to hear the encrypted messages. Email all findings to me at floozysoozy@hotmail.co.uk
How to Wiki? []
Go ahead[]
Use this section for testing random shit like I did.
dixdixdix []
did i do it rite?
fuck yeah []
i did do it rite now lets see wut else can i do here
ffffff []
how do i embed youtube videos here? i wanna make some annoying ass music for people to listen to when they click here
music []
i'll embed some shit later if you nig-nogs tell me how in the meantime your stuck with text
Now, this is a story all about how My life got flipped-turned upside down And I liked to take a minute Just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel AirIn west Philadelphia born and raised On the playground was where I spent most of my days Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school When a couple of guys Who were up to no good Startin making trouble in my neighborhood I got in one little fight and my mom got scared She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'I begged and pleaded with her day after day But she packed my suite case and send me on my way She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket. I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.First class, yo this is bad Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass. Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like? Hmmmmm this might be alright.But wait I hear there're prissy, wine all that Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat? I don't think sow I'll see when I get there I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-AirWell, the plane landed and when I came out There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out I ain't trying to get arrested I just got here I sprang with the quickness like lightening, disappearedI whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror If anything I can say this cab is rare But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later' I looked at my kingdom I was finally there To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air
fuckin shit []
it doesn't do the breaks like it does in the code this shit is so not cash
hey you []
use your wiki editing skills and embed a video into here so i can see how to
oh also []
put the fresh prince of bel air into a quote so i can look at that too
for now i'm gonna put some awesome pictures here so you an all go fffffff thos r awesum pix
fuck yes all of the text above is crossed out[]
now lets see what else i can do...fuck yes again i hav my bird to the left dont let him bite your dick it hurts
and ffffffff youtube aint fucking loading in my other tab
good thing i have another window open[]
watch it fools
fuck yes[]
that video is now awesome oh and i got fresh prince to change lines appropiately